Motherhood, mental illness and beyond

Posts tagged ‘money’

Kindness

Some days I despair of humanity. We can seem so intolerant, so self-centred, so oblivious to the struggles of others. Today is not one of those days, however. Today is one of the days where I have been utterly overwhelmed by people’s kindness.

Earlier today my last pair of jeans (well, the last pair that fit anyway) ripped beyond repair. I tweeted my annoyance at this and almost immediately a friend replied offering to buy me a new pair. My sister contacted me from her holiday in Spain to tell me I could borrow from her if I needed to.

Tonight I was in need of a good moan, having discovered that I have 2 days worth of anti-depressants left and no money spare to pay the £7.85 for the prescription (how I miss living in Wales, land of the mountains, valleys and free prescriptions!). DH is in the middle of reapplying for Jobseekers Allowance but the rules have changed and until I find my passport to prove my identity he cannot claim, so in the meantime I have to pay for prescriptions. I can find the money by cutting back on next week’s food shopping – we have food in the freezer and I’ll have some money coming in next Friday, so it’s not as dire as it could be (I’m especially grateful that I’ve already paid for DD’s school meals for the next fortnight!).

So anyway, I had a good old whinge about this on Twitter. And then sat open-mouthed, then tearful, then properly sobbing as no fewer than 14 people contacted me and offered to send me the money for the prescription. I’ve never met a single one of these people, although I chat with most of them fairly regularly. And yet they all reached out, willing to give money to a stranger, trusting that I was genuine and not trying to con them. Of course I declined the offers; there are ways we can manage and I’m a shamefully proud person. I find it very difficult to accept help. But I was so touched that these wonderful people wanted to help.

I’m not ready sure what the point of this post is, apart from to share my wonder and joy at the kindness shown to me today. It really has lifted me up, made life seem a little brighter. But I would like to ask everyone reading this to perform an act of kindness tomorrow. It doesn’t have to involve money, just do something to make someone else’s life easier or brighter. Believe me, it can make a huge difference to someone’s day and it can really restore your faith in humanity.

Back to life, back to reality

Before I start please let me apologise for that earworm; if you’re anything like me you’ll now be humming Soul II Soul all evening. 😉

Anyway. Today is the last day of our week-long visit to my in-laws. I’m very fortunate to have married into such a great family – they’re all lovely people and when we come to stay we’re thoroughly spoilt. The food is amazing, the company is excellent, the house and garden are spotless and spacious and the children get to spend proper quality time with family members that we don’t see as often as we’d like to.

But best of all is the relaxed atmosphere. While we’re here we don’t have to worry about bills or shopping, we don’t need to fret about how we’ll manage to give the children healthy food this week. I don’t have to aggravate my back by doing too much housework. I don’t have to look around our small, cramped, cluttered flat and despair of ever getting it presentable enough to have visitors.

In short, staying with the in-laws means abdicating most of our responsibilities. Obviously we look after the children but even that’s better here – I can be Fun Mummy instead of Stressed And Constantly Needing To Do Something Else Mummy. But tomorrow it comes to an end and we’ll go home.

You know how it feels when you’ve been swimming and buoyed up by the water? And as you walk out of the water you suddenly feel heavy and can feel gravity dragging you down? That’s how I feel at the moment. It’ll be good to see my family and I expect we’ll do some fun things this week while DD is still on holiday from preschool. But I can already feel the stress returning, I can feel my mood being dragged down by our imminent return to reality and responsibility.

I don’t want to go home. I want to stay here in this wonderful cocoon where I’m cushioned and protected from life’s stresses and strains and worries. I wonder if my in-laws would mind some lodgers…

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