My last few posts have been rather brief, slightly ranty and disjointed. I apologise for this. As you may have gathered, I managed to get not one but 2 Twitter accounts suspended (apparently you’re not supposed to have
arguments conversations with people you don’t follow and who don’t follow you).
My original account has now been restored but I am unable to log in to it. I have no idea why. Twitter have no idea why (or at least they haven’t got back to me yet). So I had 2 options – wait a few days for Twitter to sort it out, or start a third account. Being the sane, sensible and normal person that I am I chose to start a third account. 😉
Why? Because I need that interaction with people. I am terrible at being open and honest in everyday life but I can say anything on Twitter and someone is likely to respond sympathetically. If I am becoming stressed or edgy I can spend a few moments immersed in other people’s thoughts, their day, their lives. It’s calming.
Over the last few months I have come to rely on my little Twitter community. They have helped me through my confession to my GP, my initial sessions with a psychiatrist and tentative new diagnoses. They are supportive when I need it. They make me laugh, cry, rage and rant – they make me feel. Sometimes it’s hard to get that in real life, it’s easier to be numb.
Twitter has become a crutch and right now I need that. I have a feeling that I take far more than I give but hopefully the balance will even out as I start to improve a bit. For now though, I need to know that those wonderful, kind, funny, helpful and supportive people are there. Without them, without access to Twitter, I have felt very alone and isolated. Very uneasy. Very aware of the cacophony and chaos raging in my mind.
If Twitter ever manage to get me back into my previous accounts, I shall delete them. In a way it’s a shame to as I had a wonderful community on my first account and this new one feels all echoey and empty – but I can’t keep switching back and forth. There’s been quite enough of that over the last few days! So if anyone wants to find me my new (third and hopefully final) account is @SamCandour. Come and say hi. 🙂